Welcome and greetings

I am starting this blog for many reasons, but I think the biggest reason I am doing it is because I am broken, hence the title.

We all are a little bit broken, every one of us. Life has a tendency to chip away at all of us, breaking and flaking off pieces of ourselves, and it is only when things get to their breaking point we realize how much of us has been lost in the onslaught. For some of us the damage is minor. For others the brokeness is so profound it may never heal. I for one don't know for sure what I am. I would like to think I am fixable, and some days I think I am. A lot of days I am not so sure.

I wanted to write this blog primarily because of my therapy. I wanted to use a blog as a forum to think through the things that I troll through in my sessions, but felt it was too self-focused. Who wants to read how I have issues with life? But I shared with someone recently that I was indeed in therapy, (I am quite open about it), and they were shocked. Their response was to say, "But you are so put together, I would never have thought you of all people need therapy."

Why wouldn't I? I'm human, just like everyone else. And it occurred to me this person thought that therapy was only for those people who were truly a mess, those who were knocking on the door to the madhouse. I don't have scars on my wrists, or track marks on my arms, I don't come from an abusive home and my parents loved me, obviously this means I am a sane and rational person. I cringed at the idea, because I've known many a person who came from a totally "normal" home and they were very pained human beings, and I've seen people who came from debilitating backgrounds rise up with a strength I don't possess. Emotional and mental hurt doesn't pick a particular type of person. It just happens. And while I may seem put together, I hurt, like everyone does. So this is a blog that will trace through some of that hurt. And perhaps, maybe, my experiences will speak to someone else, and maybe help them through some of their troubles as well.

As to who I am, that will come out through my story I guess. But to anyone who looks at me I'm utterly boring, (save for the red hair...very vain about that). I am thirty-four, I'm a graduate student at a Christian seminary in Pasadena, California. I am finishing two masters degrees in theology and attempting, (and might fail at), getting into a PhD program for history. My family lives in Missouri, so I am rather alone out here. I have a roommate, two cats, a car that is often cranky, a computer named for Scully's dog on X-files, a passion for the game Assassin's Creed, a love of cooking, travel, and I'm mad about all things Roman.

As for the rest of it, that will come out in time.

I don't know where this blog will lead me, and I will try to be as honest as I can in it. It might hurt some people who read it, especially if you are involved, and for that I'm sorry. I won't use real names for that reason. But I hope this helps me as I wrestle with the issues I am dealing with, and maybe it will help someone else.

Peace and rest-

JKW